Connections

[Capt Ayers 0]

this ok with you?

 

       It felt a bit strange to be cradling what appeared to be a young female Cardassian and yet Nick knows it's Ethan.  Why she was made up to look Cardassian was something that could be found out later.  Maybe what was strange was holding her, trying to help her after being so mad at her not telling him about the mission Muon and her took.  And granted he is still angry but that could be dealt with later.  He brushes a hand along the side of her face as he watches her nearly still form.  He wishes that he was as strong a telepath as she is, wishes that her sister was here like the last time her abilities had gotten overtaxed.  Part of him feels helpless and yet he had no choice but to try.

 

       He closes his eyes and reaches out mentally.  {{I'm here, Ethan, I'm here.  Just tell me what to do.}}

 

       The blackness still swirled about her, but she sensed a hand reaching out to her, and grabbed it with all her strength.  She was trembling with fatigue, her body driven to its limit by her mental activities. She stirred again, her eyes slowly opening. Looking up, she saw the Captain, his face concerned.  "You came," she whispered.  A faint smile briefly touched her lips, before the trembling shook her again.

 

          The smile that just had been starting to form on his face at her opening her eyes fades when he feels her body shake and realizes just how tenuously she is holding onto consciousness.  He activates his commbadge and says "Sickbay, medical emergency in the Captain's Ready room.  If there is a telepathic healer available send them with."  That taken care of he returns his attention to Ethan.

 

       The last few days his emotions had been across the board thanks to her, from being angry at her to being concerned about her safety to being glad and relieved at her return that it was all a bit confusing.  However for this moment he knows where his feelings lay and the rest was immaterial.  He spends a few moments strengthening the mental connection between them.  He murmurs "Of course I did.  I didn't hear you until I got back to the Control Tower and noticed...."  He stops and shakes his head slightly before saying "You're important to me.  So why wouldn't I?"

 

       Ethan didn't reply--she couldn't.  It was taking everything she could manage to remain conscious.  She relied on the mental link to give her focus.  She clung to it, like a port in the storm.  The blackness still seemed to pull at her, as if reluctant to give up a victim.  It was denied its prey, however, as she stubbornly held tight to the mental connection with Captain Ayers.

 

       It seemed a terminable wait for the medical help to arrive, though in reality it was only a few minutes.  The female medic arrived with a kit in hand. "What happened?" she asked, beginning the examination.  A confused look crossed her face as she received readings of a Human-Betazoid lifeform, in a Cardassian form.  Shaking it off, she looked again at the tricorder in her hand, then her eyes widened, and she grabbed quickly for a hypo. "Did you say she's conscious?" the medic asked, very surprised.

 

       It takes Nick a few seconds to respond with the effort he was putting into maintaining the mental link with Ethan.  Under normal circumstances the connection came to him easily but this was hardly normal circumstances.  This was more then a little like leaning over a cliff trying to keep the person dangling from your arm from slipping and falling while trying to keep yourself on even ground as well.  "It is Commander Hawke, Doctor.  Why she looks that way is none of your concern and you're not to breathe a word of it to anyone.  She overtaxed her telepathic abilities and her body is reacting to that I believe.  And yes she is concious but just barely."  He hesitates for a second.  Their relationship was hardly a secret but the telepathic link they shared had always remained private between them.  "I have a mental connection with her..a telepathic link.  She was unconcious when I found her and it was that link that brought her around this far but with her as weak as she is it's a teneous connection at best."

 

       He eyes the hypo the Doctor reaches for, briefly remembering the fracas with Images and Mimi over their mis-use of suppressors.  He frowns briefly before saying "Do what you can."

 

       The doctor quickly pressed the hypo to Ethan's neck, watching the tricorder for a few moments before looking up again at the Captain. "That was quick thinking, Captain. I didn't know you were telepathic, but your action may have saved her life.  Her blood sugar was extremely low. Dangerously low. She should have been in a coma at those levels, sir. The link quite likely kept her from slipping into an oblivion that she might not have been able to come out of. All I gave her was something to stablize her sugar levels."  She looked at the tricorder again. "She's improving. Her neurotransmitters appear to be in normal ranges."

 

       Slowly, the trembling subsided.  Taking a slow, deep breath, Ethan opened her eyes again. "Where.... are we?"

 

       Nick says "I didn't do anything really, I heard her calling is all.  And my telepathy isn't all that strong.  Just with people..."  He cuts himself off as he feels a blush crawling up the back of his neck over what he nearly said.  He smiles down at Ethan "Hey there.  You collapsed in my office.  You were unconcious when I found you and the Doctor here saved you."  He adds telepathically {{You sure know how to make me worried.  You were barely holding onto me.}}

 

       He glances back at the doctor "Should she be taken to sickbay?"

 

      The doctor sadly shook her head.  "Normally, I would say yes. But with things as they are.... there is no room for someone that really isn't in danger... anymore. Keep her here until she's able to walk, then she can return to her quarters."

 

       Ethan turned towards the doctor, her voice still a little weak, but sustained, "Thank you, doctor. Since you're here... I don't suppose you can..." She motioned to the Cardassian features. The doctor nodded wearily, and set about removing the built up features. As the doctor worked, Ethan reached out to Nick. {{It wasn't intentional, Captain. Thank you for your help.}} She remembered all too clearly the reception she had received upon her return, and the talk about transfers.  {{I will be ready for that transfer whenever it comes through, sir.}}

 

       Nick arches an eyebrow but waits until the Doctor leaves before speaking "I am not having you transfered.  You've been here longer then I have, this is your home.  I can not and would not take that away from you no matter the cause."  He moves to lift her in his arms.  Standing, he carries her to the couch and settles her on it gently.  He sits down on the floor next to the couch.  He brushes a hand against Ethan's face before saying "I told you this before but if anyone transfers it will be me.  That is what I meant when I said that transfers are not your concern, they're mine." 

 

       He closes his eyes and leans his head against the edge of the couch "Do I want to leave?  Hardly, this is my home too.  And there is someone here I care for very deeply and love and nothing that has happened has changed my feelings for her....for you.   Anger is not the opposite of love, apathy is.  Though maybe your feelings have changed.  I guess I couldn't blame you if they had, I was acting like an ass."

 

       He sighs sadly and shrugs "Part of the reason I was angry at you is because of my feelings towards you.  You had disappeared with no explanation and I was worried sick.  And I was angry because Muon, the Admiral and you had treated me as if I didn't matter, as if the fact that I am the Commanding Officer of this station somehow didn't matter.  I am responsible for the well being of this station and that includes the actions and whereabouts of this station's Executive Officer and Chief of Security."

 

       Ethan pushed herself up slightly in order to look at him better, "With all due respect, Captain, it wasn't my decision to inform you or not. No, I wasn't ordered not to, but I wasn't given permission, either. And, as point of fact, Meve had us submit our resignations before leaving, just in case Fleet needed to..disavow our actions. There wasn't a lot of time available either.  But for what it's worth, I'm sorry.  Had you known.... would you have honestly let us... me go?  My feelings have not changed either, Nick.  I do love you.  But I still have a job to do, and that feeling cannot get in the way of duty.  I hope you can understand that."  The effort of speaking, rather passionately, taxed her improving system, and she sank back against the cushions, grateful for the support.  She sipped at the restorative drink that the doctor had pressed on her before departing.

 

       He chuckles softly "You're quite right...it was not your decision to inform me or not. However all that means, Ethan, is that it is not your decision.  Unless the Admiral specifically told you not to then your responsibility was to inform me.  I am your direct superior officer and he is not, there is no end run around that.  As for if I had known would I have let you go...yes I would have.  From what I've been able to piece together, Ethan, you and Muon were the only ones capable of pulling off whatever it is you two were doing.  When that Ion storm hit did I send you away because of my personal feelings towards you or did I let you remain and do your job?"

 

       "I am fully aware of the fact that the woman I've fallen in love with is a Starfleet officer and that carries a certain risk, I did not somehow forget that fact.  Being a Starfleet officer is part of who you are, part of the woman I love and if I acted to take away that even out of possible good intentions it would only diminish you.  If I would have let my personal feelings interfere because I was scared of losing you all I would have accomplished was to lose you by another way.  Would part of me have wanted to prevent you from doing your job and shield you?  Yes, part of me would have just as if the situation was reversed part of you would have wanted to do the same but that is not the part of me that would have made the decision.  You were a Starfleet Officer long before we met, you were a Starfleet Officer long before I had any claim, if I have a claim, on you existed and taking that away from you is not my choice to make.  So yes I would have let you do your job, Ethan, even if part of me did regret it.  However, recognize that your concern that I wouldn't have allowed you to do your job means you did not trust me to do mine.  That trust has to be a two way street, darling."

 

              Ethan sighed, "I'm sorry. I should have told you...but in part, I didn't want to. I didn't want you to know what we were doing, because...well, because it's illegal.  But then I guess we've been involved in illegal activities together before." She smiled, then leaned forward to kiss him.

 

       He smiles and returns the kiss.  Breaking it off he murmurs "If you can forgive me for being an ass earlier then I certainly can forgive you as well."  He chuckles and shakes his head "If one little argument drove us apart we are going to be in for a lot of trouble as we're both prideful.  I very much doubt this will be the last argument..the last fight we'll have so lets just agree to when such things happen we work it out instead of shutting each other out like I was doing to you." 

 

       He kisses her briefly "Now, get some rest while I go attend to this meeting the Admiral is having with the Rixians.  And when you're feeling strong enough you can go to your quarters and rest there."  He smirks and adds "Don't get it in your head to return to duty until you've fully recovered or I may get it in my head to carry you to your quarters myself even if half the station witnesses it."

 

       With a show of feigned meekness, she batted her eyelashes, and smiled, "Yes, sir." Finishing her drink, she put her down and closed her eyes to rest.

 

       He chuckles softly as he heads for the door.  Stepping through the door, he turns towards the observation lounge doors across the Control Tower, knowing that what was going to happen in there was going to make him wish that he was the one resting.