Brave Faces

[DrDMatthews 0]

She could only imagine how the Captain felt. Command could be such a lonely position especially when you're sent on a suicide mission then dragged over the coals for the split second decisions you had to make to save your ship and crew.

 

Deb looked over her shoulder at the double doors the Captain walked through a few seconds earlier. She was glad Kat Schawnsee had been allowed to accompany him but she knew that wouldn't last long. It was just a matter of time before Kat was dismissed and ordered to return to the ship.

 

The doors disappeared from view as the Captain's escorts rounded a corner. Nobody spoke as they made their way back to the docking port. The return trip didn't seem to take as long. As they neared the gangway, Deb noticed a number of people milling about in the corridor. They were pressed against the expansive transparent aluminum windows lining the outer walls of the station. Gathered in small groups, they spoke softly while pointing out the damage to the Reaent. They quieted somewhat when the escort party neared and finally fell silent as the Reaent's officers approached the gangway.

 

Security officer TKAR entered first with Jon Shamor following immediately after her. Deb and Aidan held back a moment, both staring at their ship now resting silently in her berth. The damage was terrible and extensive. But Deb knew the worst losses were still in the cargo bay and wouldn't leave the ship for another five hours.

 

She glanced at her husband. His expression was composed and dispassionate. But the look in his eyes betrayed his feelings. Deb felt a knot forming in her stomach. She stepped toward the gangway, nodding to the security officer standing guard as she walked past him. Aidan followed a moment later, catching up to Deb within a few seconds. They walked side by side but neither spoke. Deb reached for his hand, not caring who they might pass.

 

He glances down at her as she takes his hand. His initial thought, born of nearly twenty years in Starfleet, is to extricate his hand from hers and keep to decorum. However, it's the year and a half of marriage and three years of courtship that win out. That and the simple desire for the comfort of her touch given the situation. "Screw decorum, it's not like there is anyone on the ship who doesn't know Deb and I are married," he thinks to himself. He squeezes her hand tightly, trying to give her some comfort as well, what he could give given the lack of privacy.

 

As the group reaches the turbolifts Aidan clears his throat. With quiet determination he says "As the Captain said, there is another group of people who need an escort off the ship. That will be in three hours...so dress appropriately."

 

Still clasping her husband's hand, Debbie holds back as the others enter the lift. Aidan glanced at her, immediately understanding she would needed a moment or two alone with him. After a moments hesitation, they walked on down the corridor as the lift whisked Jon and Tkar off to their respective destinations.

 

Considering their location, the halls were relatively empty. As the hours passed, traffic in this area would increase but for now, they walked hand in hand passing only one or two crewmen. "I've been avoiding the cargo bay." Deb stared straight ahead and spoke the words softly. "The last time we had that many stasis units down there was.... well you know. It's been a long time." She wanted to say more but the words started catching in her throat as memories of the past surged into the present.

 

Not caring whether anyone sees them he stops and pulls her into an embrace. He kisses her forehead and then tucks his head against hers. Quietly he murmurs "I know. It's been on my mind too." He bring his head back and stares down into her eyes. "So wish I could just take us away from this right now."

 

"But you can't," she whispered softly, relaxing against him. "Nobody can." She paused long enough to draw a deep breath. "After Cairo, I was convinced they were out to get us....all of us....the ship....the crew... anyone who was there at the time. I know it sounds paranoid....it is paranoid....or at least that's what I kept telling myself. I finally convinced myself I was imagining it." She pulled away slightly and looked into Aidan's eyes. "But after this mission....after what happened to us...." She shook her head and again rested it on her husband's chest. "I don't know anymore. I just don't know."

 

He sighs quietly as he runs a hand gently through her hair. "I know. I thought the same way then. And it kind of faded, in no small part thanks to you. But right now it..the old fear seems a bit closer than it was before." He drops both hands to her waist and hugs her tightly. Softly he murmurs "No matter what, Deb, we will get past it, make it through to the other side of whatever faces us. I want to have..have to have faith in what our future will be."

 

Deb wasn't sure how long they stood in the corridor, clinging to each other, but it wasn't long enough as far as she was concerned. Still, they were in a very public place. As senior officers, it was their responsibility to put on a brave face for their subordinates. No matter what happened with the Captain.....no matter what how many died or were injured....life goes on and so must they.

 

She and Aidan separated at the same time. She smiled bravely and gently stroked his face with her left hand. "Thanks," she whispered softly. Drawing a deep breath, she straightened to her full height. "Sometimes, I need to be reminded to keep the faith."

 

Again clasping his hand, they continued down the corridor to the nearest lift. Entering it, Deb looked at her husband and smiled sadly. "I guess I'll see you in a couple of hours. In the meantime, I have a lot of work to keep me busy. I bet you do too."

 

He nods and sighs quietly. "Yeah, still need to contact some of the families and get an update on how the repairs are going. I think when this little situation is over I'm going to arrange a day or two off and just sleep. Just sleep, nothing else." He leans down and kisses her gently. "See you in a couple hours."

 

Deb remained silent as her husband strode down the corridor quickening his pace as he went. She waited until after he rounded a corner and was out of sight before stepping into the waiting turbolift. "Sickbay," she ordered as the doors swished closed. She stepped to the back of the car and leaned heavily against the wall. Sleep sounded like a good idea. They all needed a few days of quiet and rest.

 

Moments later, the lift came to a soft stop and the doors immediately opened. Debbie Matthews straightened her shoulders, drew a deep breath and re-entered the controlled chaos that passed as routine in and around Sickbay. As she entered the medical facility, she nodded to a few of the staff still present and went directly to her office. There were still a couple of hours until the memorial....plenty of time to clear up some of the padds gathering dust on her desk.

 

She entered the office, ordered the lights on and sat down in the old but very comfortable chair she'd had for eons. Glancing quickly at the padds, she quietly longed for a few hours of sleep yet wondered if that would be possible in the near future. For with sleep came dreams and the dreams would be disquieting.