The Span of a Lifetime

[Cmdr JFarrington 0]

The Span of a Lifetime

That Margaux Roget misunderstood her intentions eluded Jami Farrington as she stood behind the OPS station and questioned Margaux about her former relationship with Atragon. The questions would have been inappropriate at any time, but they were particularly inappropriate on the bridge, sotto voce not withstanding. It was neither the time nor the place, to be sure, and it illustrated Jami’s confused state of mind. Her intent was to learn whether Margaux, in the closeness of her relationship with Atragon, had ever experienced what Jami was now experiencing. If she had, Jami needed to know how she had overcome any distress.

 

Jami had bonded with her first husband, Topan, but he had been Vulcan and their bonding ritual was careful, calculated, and altogether reasonable and controllable. Their bonding had initiated an inexplicable mutually-agreeable connection that was broken only when Jami deposited his katra at Mount Seleya.

 

The connection with Atragon was altogether different. It was sudden, overwhelming, and so unlike the Vulcan bond that it defied reason. Moreover, though her connection with Atragon was strong, she had more than his input to deal with. Disconnected images, voices and thoughts assaulted her from every direction, clouding and sometimes paralyzing her concentration. Unable to control the onslaught, she had, at one point, relinquished command to Commander Garnoopy. It was a mental state that she could not endure much longer without approaching insanity.

 

“Tell me,” she had said to Margaux, “did you experience any kind of telepathic connection with Atragon in... your other life?” Your other life seemed a strange way of putting it, but she didn’t know what else to say. She knew no particulars of their former relationship, neither did she care. At this point her only concern was for his safety and her own sanity.

 

The ensuing discussion had been brief, but poignant. Margaux, decidedly uncomfortable with the line of questioning, had said it had all happened a lifetime ago.

 

A lifetime. In that moment it seemed to Jami that she had lived many lifetimes, that many turns in her life had initiated a strange disconnection with what had gone before. And now she was entering yet another, one that she didn’t altogether care to embrace.

 

As Margaux’s words faded the relationship between time and space seemed to shrink in upon her. She had a vague recollection of the Qin and of the Andromeda galaxy. She also remembered Vai, her healer. As to the particulars of the healing, however, she had no recollection except that there was a time when she was not and then a time when she was.

 

Later, upon reflection, Jami suspected Vai’s treatment had over stimulated portions of her brain, and she sincerely hoped the effects of Vai’s treatment would subside. She would also marvel that sonic vibrations – song – the stuff of children and birds and musicians – had been used to reverse what could have been an untimely death.

 

At the moment, however, Jami stood on the bridge of Manticore, lost in a quagmire of introspection, ironically uncertain that she would survive.